It sounds like you’re going through the motions and know what you need to do to achieve your goal, so what’s holding you back…?

听起来你正在按部就班地行动，并且知道自己需要做什么才能实现目标，那么是什么阻碍了你…？

As I type this out, it’s cathartic. I also know the work that needs to be done, can do it precisely and expertly, with sales/productivity knowledge in pocket; but, I’m still can’t get myself to start. I know it’s important.

当我写下这些时，这是一种宣泄。我也知道需要完成的工作，凭借掌握的销售和生产力知识，我可以精准而专业地完成它；但是，我仍然无法让自己开始。我知道这很重要。

现实是，我害怕。害怕事情不会成功。害怕再次得到一个“不”。在倾注了心血和灵魂之后却遭到拒绝，这留下了一些伤痕。或者，我可能只付出十分之一的努力，因为我觉得这没有希望。所以对我来说，更容易的途径是不去想它，而是去回复互联网上的一个陌生人。

That’s self-sabotage: unproductive, and hurtful and it fuels this cycle of self-hate. Instead, I’m trying to be more kind to myself and give myself the grace of that of a friend.

这就是自我妨碍：没有成效，具有伤害性，并且助长了这种自我憎恨的循环。相反，我正试着对自己更友善一些，给予自己如同对待朋友般的宽容。

For one, it’s comforting that I’m in good company. Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of Rome, had this problem a thousand years ago.

首先，让我感到安慰的是我并不孤单。罗马皇帝马可·奥勒留在一千年前也面临这个问题。

“If you do the job in a principled way, with diligence, energy, and patience, if you keep yourself free from distractions, and keep the spirit inside you undamaged, as if you might have to give it back and any moment—If you can embrace this without fear or expectation—can find fulfillment in what you’re doing now, as Nature intended, and in superhuman truthfulness—then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that.” - Meditations, Book 3

“如果你以原则行事，带着勤奋、活力和耐心，如果你使自己不受干扰，并保持内心的精神完好无损，仿佛随时可能需要将其归还——如果你能毫无恐惧或期待地接受这一点——能在你此刻所做的事情中找到满足感，正如自然所愿，并以超凡的真诚——那么你的生活将是幸福的。没有人能阻止这一点。” - 《沉思录》，第三卷

Why would he write this, if not to remind himself?

他写下这些，如果不是为了提醒自己，又是为了什么呢？

Good luck

祝你好运